“Hope springs eternal in the human breast; Man never Is, but always To be blest. The soul, uneasy, and confin'd from home, Rests and expatiates in a life to come.” Alexander Pope
Candice's Palliative doctor (Dr. Forrow-aka awesome) was one of many doctors and nurses (Neurology and Oncology included) who sat down with Candice's dad, aunt and myself to discuss Candice's treatment options and prognosis when she was in the ICU in February. I remember at one point Dr. Forrow said "She is terminal". I promptly replied "We are all terminal - that is the human condition. What do you mean specifically?" He immediately appreciated my perspective and that I was essentially trying to get a sense of Candice's timeline. I cannot quote him exactly but he said that timelines vary but if Candice didn't live to see the first day of spring, she will have been robbed - but if she makes it to Christmas, it will be a miracle. Given the daily roller coasters in the hospital, I really didn't think she would make it to spring on many occasions: but she did.
Although Candice did make it 4 days past March 20th (1st day of spring), she didn't get to leave the hospital once except to be transported from one campus to the other. So in one sense she was not robbed and neither was I. We were given a gift of an amazing 5 weeks together. Moments that I will always feel blessed for. And as I left the hospital to enter the world again (forever changed), the earth started to wake up from a cold and long winter and with it came the rebirth of birds' musical harmonies, flowers and trees starting to burst with colorful blossoms, grass dusting off the winter's gloom to turn a bright shade of green, and the warmer temperatures allowing a new circulation of fresh air. (all of which I adore but am terribly allergic to). However, this spring has come slower and it is clear that the frigid winter conditions have delayed the rainbow landscape I have grown accustom to living across from with the Arboretum.
Spring provides a sense of hope even when I can't grasp it. In the interim, I will sneeze and capture pictures of what others must find enchanting. The picture above was taken last week at the Forest Hills Cemetery, where Candice will be eternally part of in time.